Random Thoughts on DEATH.

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DEATH

(I have always felt that DEATH in its various facets should be discussed during the first ten days of mourning and related rituals. This blog was written during my stay with wife's elder brother in the first few days after death of his younger brother.) 

Recently, Shri Gopinath Munde died in a road accident. He addressed media barely a few hours earlier in the previous night, wherein he ostentatiously explained the various plans he had thought of in his new role as one of the ministers in our Union Government. Neither the minister nor any of us viewers were aware of Kaala Deva standing at his doorsteps preparing to take away his life. ‘It is shocking’; ‘It is tragic’; ‘It is a great loss to the Nation’; ‘The Nation has come to a standstill’; etc. are the commonly issued statements on such an occasion to condemn death. Yes, death is shocking as it is sudden. But, it is our ignorance to feel that death happens without any prior announcement. It is the loudest and most unambiguous announcement ever made since the beginning of creation. The Gita declares, ‘Jaatasya Hi Dhruvo Mrityuh’ (Death is certain for anything that is born!) At the moment of a child’s birth nothing is definite, education and other achievements in the child’s life, wealth and other earnings by the child etc Death is the only certainty in its life. Our ignorant attachment with the world and its pleasurable life deafens our ears to this announcement.

My first encounter with death was when I was eleven years old. My Athai (father’s sister) was a teacher in Saraswati Vidyalaya, Burdi branch, Nagpur and Pattu teacher was one of her colleagues. The two had accompanied school students on an excursion to Ramtek, a village near Nagpur with a hill temple of Shri Ram and a scenic lake. These two teachers walked away from the picnic site where all others had assembled to a secluded spot to enjoy a dip in the lake. Pattu teacher drowned in the lake while my Athai helplessly watched from the shore. (Breach of discipline is the cause in most of such accidents!!) My Athai returned home that night with swollen and red eyes, sore throat and frequent bursts of tears and woeful words. I felt sorry but also observed her with inexplicable curiosity. Many doubts erupted in my mind. ‘What is death?’ Is it painful? Does it happen to all? (I had read the story of Gautam Buddha asking the woman to find out a house which had not seen death. It was included in my English text book.) If it was for all, why is my Athai grieving? Was it because she was a witness? Was it because she was helpless while her friend drowned? I observed that her tears disappeared and grief appeared to have subdued in the next few days. ‘Is grief real?’ was an additional query stimulating my curiosity. ‘It must be unreal and temporary’ was a vague conclusion reached by my young mind. This incident got entrenched deeply in my memory. Curiosity to know and see death remained alive in my psyche for many years.

Death can never be predicted. Symptoms may seem so severe that an escape from death will appear almost impossible. Yet, death occurs only at pre-destined moment. Life survives extreme conditions till the moment arrives. Once the moment arrives, even minor problem may cause death. When I was probably in my eighth or ninth class, I happened to visit one of my uncles at Jabalpur during Deepavali vacations. He suffered from severe asthmatic attacks. He got some relief if his back was pressed. We used to stand on his back and press using our feet. This became a regular duty at nights. He would take pity on us and ask us to go to bed after one or two hours of this duty. I used to stay awake in dark listening to his loud breath, to catch a glimpse of death ‘hovering around him’, as it seemed to me. (In this memory-recall after so many years, these words sound too harsh, it remains the truth nevertheless.) A few years later, he finally relented in his life long struggle against death.

Kaala-Deva probably has surprising ways and means to take away His target life.There is a funny story. Asparrow was seated on a branch of a tree when it overheard a conversation between two assistants of Yamaraja. "We have to take away life of this sparrow in the next five minutes." said one. The sparrow trembled in fear. A huge sized eagle wanted to help. It took away the sparrow to far-off Himalayas and hid it safely in a cave on the Himalayas.. It was delighted that it could save the sparrow from death and proudly flew out of the cave. The two Yama Dootas walked into the cave. One of them said, "Oh! Our Boss Yamaraj has mentioned this cave as the spot for taking away the life of the little sparrow. But, we saw it at a far-off spot. It could never have reached this spot in mere five minutes. Will Yamaraj's dictum go in vain?" The eagle on hearing felt sorry for its 'helpful' act. It had assisted Kaala Deva in causing death of the sparrow. One of my cousins and me accompanied when my grand father was taken to hospital. I was in my early twenties then. An unknown instinct in me suggested that he will not return home alive and my neighbour recollected after almost thirty years that I had expressed this to him before I entered the ambulance. I do not remember this but the memories of the night in hospital are alive. Grand father was admitted in the government managed Mayo hospitals in Nagpur. Suction tube was inserted in his throat to clear the chest congestion. There was a continuous bubbling sound. I was determined not to miss the moment and remained stubbornly awake. Around 2’O clock, midnight, I suddenly felt suffocation and I left the room to take few steps on the verandah and suck in a few pints of fresh air and returned to my grand father’s bedside, within a minute. But, the suction machine was silent then. ‘The small time gap was enough for Kala Deva to sneak in and take away my grand father’s life’, I thought. This feeling was probably due to arrogant and egoist youthful age. As I progressed further in life, the realization that Kaala Deva is infinitely powerful and will bulldoze his way crushing all the protective fortifications we may try to build around life.

We arrive into and exit from this world alone. None else can give company on these occasions. In the life span between birth and death, we collect a huge baggage, of humans through acquaintance, friendship, family, of lifeless things like cash, assets, property, and so many other items and of abstract supports like posts, fame, status etc. This effort is probably to hide or deny the fact that essentially we are alone. I remember a great experience during my (previously mentioned) bus travel to Jabalpur. The bus got stranded between two overflowing streams and was stopped. It was past midnight and pitch dark outside. We all got down. The other passengers huddled in groups and involved in chat, smoking and efforts to warm up. I walked a few meters into the forest and stood alone. Suddenly, a realization that ‘I am alone’ struck me like a lightning. It was not about being physically alone at that spot, in that particular environment, because awareness of everything physical, the forest, the darkness, my co-passengers, why! Even the grosser ‘I’ stranded on my way to Jabalpur, etc. was lost. It was not a frightening experience, nor was it a joyous experience. How long did this experience last? No idea. Should not have been more than a few moments. The further travel towards Jabalpur in the crowded bus was different, beyond words. This feeling of being alone in any crowd, of being unaffected by the surroundings has always been with me afterwards. 

Death is a great teacher. A single death scene ignited process of transformation of Siddhartha into Gautam Buddha. Death of an uncle and a few minutes of intense thoughts on death caused instant birth of Shri Ramana from an ordinary, fourteen years old village boy, Venkataraman. Do we learn? As the English ‘words of wisdom’ go, ‘No one can ever teach, but every one can learn’. Yes. Death has potential to teach, but are we tuned to learn? Every death can teach us great lessons depending on our age, nature of association with the dead, and other such factors. But, we find that most of us do not learn, not only from death but from so many other experiences in life. We merely allow ourselves to be swayed by these experiences from euphoria to depression and back to euphoria. Learning is possible only if we stand aloof and observe and analyze an experience. I vividly remember the yelling scream of my 78 years old grand father on hearing the death news of his 50 years old son (my uncle from Jabalpur). ‘How many deaths he must have witnessed in his life?’ ‘And at least, death in this instance was not unanticipated, as he suffered severe asthmatic attacks whole of his life.’

Anil Rangari, one of my classmates in Visvesvaraiya college of Engineering, stayed just outside the crematorium in Ambazheri. A small group of students had assembled at his house. “You are a regular witness to dead bodies, fire and smoke. What is the effect on your mind?” I asked him. “Oh! I see dead bodies, touch and dissect those to learn Anatomy. Do you suggest that should affect my desires and enjoyment?” retorted a medical student in the group. When I discussed these thoughts with Shirgaonkar, a close friend, he suggested that I should consult a Psychiatrist.

‘Which is the biggest surprise in this world?’ Yaksha asked Yudhishthira in Mahabharat. “Man regularly sees death all around him. Yet, he never feels he will also be dead one day. That is the biggest surprise,” replied Yudhishthira. Akhila’s Aplastic Anemia favoured me with a grand opportunity to experience regular Darshan of Death for almost two years.

Let me conclude this write up with inspiring words related to these thoughts on death. These words are of two great Rshis, Shri Aadi Shankara, two thousand and five hundred years back and Shri Keshava Balirampant Hedgewar, a hundred years back.

NA MRUTYUR NA SHANKHA NA ME JAATI BHEDAH

PITUR NAIVA ME NAIVA MAATAH CHA JANMAH

NA BANDHUR NA MITRAM GURUR NAIVA SHISHYAH

CHIDAANANDA ROOPAH SHIVOHAM SHIVOHAM…Aadi Shankara.

(I have no birth or death, I have no class or creed, I have neither father nor mother, nor other relations. I am neither Guru nor Shishya. I am Light, Awareness and Bliss personified. I am Shiva.)

“There is no necessity now to die for the Nation, to die for a cause. More important is to Live for our Nation. Let us Live for a Cause.” Dr KB Hedgewar, founder of the unique organization RSS.